I wasn’t a soldier, I wasn’t tough. I was a lover that loves her. When it came down to love, I didn’t have the endurance to wait for her text after an argument, no pride lost in that. Yesterday was the loneliest Sunday I’ve had in almost five years. It was the day we’d go for ice cream. At times she asked if she could stay in the car, but she knew the rules all too well, you don’t come and you don’t get any.
Our winter season alternative would be hiring two movies from the video store, one of her choice and the other of mine. We’d watch the films in my room and under the comfort of my blankets. Laying her leg across my waist, we would watch and I’d try to kiss her while the film was on. Before I could take it any further, she’d reprimand me like a naughty school child and instruct me to “watch the movie”.
Her name would normally appear on the top of my chat list, now she was all the way down at 23rd place and hated the feeling that she’d keep slipping further and further down. Even though her name was so far down, I occasionally went into our conversation; re-reading old messages and checking when last she was online, wondering if she was doing the exact same on her side. The loneliness never left.